Hell After Life

No sign of fear, no sign of pain,
I treat everyone with hate and with disdain.
“Go and fuck yourself”, that’s what I’ll say,
As for my actions, there’s hell to pay.
Love’s not on my list, I think its dead,
A new bitch every night is what I need instead.
I kill for pleasure, I score for fame
Is this a religion? Is this a game?
It’s alright baby, I know you’re new.
Let me just welcome you to a different point of view.
I’ll show you what its like to live life on the edge,
Purge blood, the booze is free; violent acts of rage.

Don’t fucking care anymore; life is just a joke…
Do you care anymore? Your life is just a joke….

You sit on your little throne and you think that you’ll get by,
But you know that anyhow you’ll get hell after life….
You stand on the side and you think that you’ll get by,
But you know what? Anyhow you’ll get hell after life.



Notes:

What if there was no judgment?What if there was no such thing as a conscience?What if you could commit every little "sin" you've ever thought of,without the fear of being condemned?
Would that be the perfect society that Man has always dreamt of?The Utopia from Hell.

The Edge Of Chaos

This one is dedicated to Aileen Wuornos.
May her soul Rest In Peace.

My frozen dreams burn inside of me
Death is a way of life, now let me be
Forget the evil that’s outside, but you see
I hate them so; I’ll drag them down to hell with me...
Will I ever be forgiven?
Or will I wear this shame around my neck.....
Now I live to be forgotten
This cloud inside my head won’t disappear
And it drives me way, way too near.....the edge of chaos...

My life had ended the day that I was born,
Raped as a child, I learnt it was a way to earn
My story bleeds itself from pages torn
And my dreams they always seem to crash and burn......
Mistaken fear that hounds me,
I feel the darkness close around me fast,
I’ve always lived to be forgotten,
This mark on my soul I have to bear,
And it pushes me way, way too near.....the edge of chaos....

Did you look into the mirror?
Did you look into my life?
In some way or the other,
We seem to be alike....
We love to hate each other
You’d love to see me die,
But still I will be waiting
Coz you are next in line.....

When you looked into the mirror
Could you see me laugh at you?
Illusions of a dead man,
They won’t stop haunting you.
Your heart’s filled with darkness,
A sign of the human race....
My painful execution,
You won’t forget my face....
Innocence what you took and
Gave me a gun to kill,
Torturing me in death row,
Can’t fuckin' break my will....
No matter how you sell me,
I won’t stop hating you....
I’m on the edge of chaos,
And now I’m going through.....


Notes:

Aileen Wuornos(1956-2002)

The "Damsel of Death" Aileen Wuornos violently killed strangers, all men, along Florida highways over 13-months in 1989 and 1990, while working as a prostitute. One prosecutor described her at the 1992 trial as a "homicidal predator," saying she was, "like a spider on the side of the road, waiting for prey-men." Suspected of at least 7 murders, she was sentenced to die for 6 murders. Initially she claimed she murdered in self-defense after being raped and sodomized, but she later withdrew these claims. She robbed and killed one victim for $200, to rent an apartment for her and a lesbian-lover.

Born in Michigan, her mother abandoned her as an infant. Her father, a convicted child molester, committed suicide in prison. She was raised by her grandparents. A former neighbor, Annie Smith, of Troy, recalls her as a nervous child, mistreated by her grandparents. "She had a rotten childhood. I think that does have something to do with it ... The grandparents were very private people. They wouldn't associate with anyone. She had a miserable life on this earth. People can only do as they're treated," Smith said.

Pregnant at 14, the result of a rape, she was forced to give up her child. She dropped out of Troy High in the 9th grade and became a prostitute at 15, as she began abusing alcohol and drugs. Drifting from state to state, she used different aliases. She was arrested for disorderly conduct, driving under the influence and a weapons charge between 1974 and 1977, in Colorado.

Her first murder victim was Richard Mallory, a Clearwater electronics shop owner found in 1989 in Volusia County. After standing trial for Mallory's death, Wuornos pleaded guilty to 5 other murders in Florida. Wuornos claims to have killed a 7th man.

Billy Nolas, who represented Wuornos in her 1992 in Daytona Beach trial, said she suffered from borderline personality disorder as a result of neglect and sexual abuse as a child. He described her as "the most disturbed individual I have represented."

"I'm one who seriously hates human life and would kill again," she told the Florida Supreme Court.

Raag Singhal , Fort Lauderdale attorney, wrote to the Florida Supreme Court with "grave doubts" about her mental condition. Three state-appointed psychiatrists determined she was "cognizant and lucid," and ready to be executed after interviewing her for 30 minutes. They rejected arguments she was "borderline psychotic." Florida Governor Jeb Bush signed her death warrant on October 2. No connection was made between her past and violent, psychopathic behavior.

She was a "volunteer" for execution, one of a growing number of death row inmates who choose death over death row.

A Troy, Michigan native, at age 46, she was executed by lethal injection in Florida on Wednesday, October 9th, 2002, at 9:47 a.m. after dropping her appeals, firing the lawyers who argued she was crazy and petitioned the state for an execution as soon as possible.

She was described as in a "good mood" during the final hours she awaited her death.

The 52nd person executed in Florida since their reinstatement of the death penalty, and the second woman, her final words were, "I'd just like to say I'm sailing with the Rock and I'll be back like 'Independence Day' with Jesus, June 6, like the movie, big mother ship and all. I'll be back." The Rock is a Biblical reference to Jesus.

Her ashes were scattered in Fostoria in Tuscola County among walnut trees by a childhood friend, Dawn Botkins. They became friends when they were 15 year old high school dropouts in Troy. Dawn visited Aileen the night before her execution, then brought her ashes back to Michigan to scatter the in the yard of her home.

She believed she was a victim of her life.

References:

The above article was taken from the following web-page:

http://www.karisable.com/skazwuornos.htm

Recommended Viewing:

"Monster" starring Charlize Theron.Especially the ending scene and the stare.

THE LIST

1.Megadeth - Foreclosure Of A Dream
2.Kiss - War Machine
3.Metallica - Welcome Home(Sanitarium)
4.Metallica - Creeping Death
5.Metallica - The Four Horsemen
6.Megadeth - Mechanix
7.Megadeth - The Scorpion
8.Megadeth - Captive Honour
9.Megadeth - FFF
10.Megadeth - Vortex
11.Megadeth - Silent Scorn/Return To Hangar
12.Judas Priest - Beyond The Realms Of Death
13.Judas Priest - Touch Of Evil
14.Godsmack - Keep Away
15.Godsmack - Reallign
16.A Perfect Circle - Passive
17.Megadeth - Tornado Of Souls
18.No Vacancy - Fight(School Of Rock soundtrack,over opening credits)
19.Blondie - Call Me

Top Vids:

1.A 19-minute Thrash-Metal documentary made by some guy from Sweden featuring Metallica,Anthrax,Sepultura,Motorhead,etc.
2.Metallica - Live Shit!Binge and Purge,Live In Seattle,Part 1
3.Megadeth - Hangar 18(Live),1990(which furthered my opinion that Nick Menza is Fucking Awesome!)
4.A 30-minute Metallica video from 1983(claims to be their debut performance),featuring Dave Mustaine on Lead Guitars.You can see why he is called the man with an attitude!Good stuff.Track listing - Mechanix,Phantom Lord,Jump In The Fire,Motorbreath,No Remorse,Seek And Destroy.Hetfield sings off-key several times and tries to make up with his screams and growls.Mustaine plays semi-frontman by speaking(a lot!) in between songs.I think that's the primary reason he got kicked out.Because Hetfield couldn't stand Mustaine getting so much of the spotlight.
5.Megadeth - Symphony Of Destruction video.Mostly archived footage(I absolutely love these kind of videos).The video version is a bit different than the studio version.For one it has a part with double-bass drums.

Notes:

Listing "current playlist" songs is something I picked up from my brother.
"The List" basically comprises of the best of the stuff I've been listening to(or watching) throughout the week.
Sort of my personal Top 10(or whatever) in no particular order.
This will probably be a weekly post.

The Time Has Come

As the scriptures foretold,
So shall Man behold,
The wrath of God,
Through nature's fury.
The day would have arrived,
The time would have come.

Notes:

The increasing frequency and magnitude of natural calamities over the past 2-3 years is a constant reminder of the size of the grave that Man has been,and still is,digging for himself with his own hands.

The Swastika:What It Means

This is a very short explanation.I will try to follow it up later on with an extended version.
Firstly the Swastika,contrary to popular belief,was not invented by the Nazis.Adolf Hitler took what was a holy symbol derived from Hindu mythology and scriptures,and tilted it slightly and transformed it into a symbol of horror and tyranny.And worst of all he called it his own.Fucker.(Adolf,if you're rolling in your grave,please read the Disclaimer and kindly fuck off.Also it is recommended you watch "Schindler's List".)
Anyways,the Swastika has a lot of interpretations even within Hindu mythology.Some people look at it as a symbol of peace and harmony.But the one explanation which seemed to me to be the most practical,sensible and specific of them all was that the Swastika symbolized the "cycle of time".
According to Hindu mythology,Time is divided into 4 equal quadrants or "Yugs".The Satyug,Dwaparyug,Tretayug and Kalyug in direct sequence.The quantum of good and evil shifts balances through these ages or "Yugs".The good is taken over slowly but surely by the evil,starting from the first Yug,the Satyug,when vice and immorality are the weakest to the last Yug,the Kalyug,when they have risen to great strengths and rule human minds like kings.
But the scriptures foretell that it is then that the Almighty God in the form of a destroyer(Shiva?)shall Himself come down to earth to vanquish the evil.The earth will be plagued by great floods,famines,earthquakes and storms all at the same time.He shall annihilate the greatest of the sinners and take back what good is left in His children back with him.There will be absolute total inhabitation of the earth for several years before God,in the form of the Restorer,sends His children down to earth again,cleansed of all evil and immorality;and once again will begin the great cycle of time.


Notes and References:


Shi·va also Si·va (shv, s-)
n. Hinduism

One of the principal Hindu deities, worshiped as the destroyer and restorer of worlds and in numerous other forms. Shiva is often conceived as a member of the triad also including Brahma and Vishnu.

The song "Swastika" is set in the time period when the Destroyer is said to walk the earth.

Swastika:Ode To The Destroyer

Infinite Darkness......
Then a light shines forth.........

Great God in the sky,
Come to your servants and
Show us the way
To find salvation in this life,
That you have given us,
Holy Lord you have to free us now.....
Swastika show us the light,
That lights the way past the gates of doom,
Into heaven, yes Holy Heaven where you reside,
Oh God have mercy for what we’ve done.....
Embrace us in Your arms,
I promise I won’t let go....
We are Your children,
But we fight like demons....
Oh Father,
In Your heart I know,
You’ll forgive us all....
Father make me see, the truth that’s bent,
The lies that hide in shadows....
Promise You’ll come like a tearing storm
To vanquish evil, for all time.......

SWASTIKA…..

A fire lights the dark, Destroyer’s taken birth,
Salvation on the way, the Great One walks the earth,
The hell ways open up and evil’s going through,
There is nowhere to go but where He wants you to....

The time has come, the skies turn red,
The good survive, the rest are dead.
You summon the winds, the earth will shake,
You’ll take away, all that’s fake....
The time has come, to say goodbye,
The rain will pour, like blood from skies,
All that’s evil, will dissipate,
Truth lives on, the fake are dead.......

SWASTIKA......


Notes:

Perhaps the best the song I've ever written.Period.Especially considering the coincidences and circumstances under which it was written.I still get goose bumps every time I hear the opening riff.

A glimmer of Hope in an era of darkness.

God Bless.

First(and Second)Week Action At UTM

Well to sum up the first week at University in a word would be,as one Mr. Dave Mustaine once very aptly put.......Borrrrriiinnnggg!!!Except for the lectures,most of which were quite fun.There was a screening of an old 1932 movie called Trouble In Paradise,as a part of the course, in one of the Film Studies lectures.I had been a bit apprehensive about 'black and white'-era movies,and Anant had shown his concern over my possible inability to digest all the Oldies stuff.But to be honest,the movie turned out to be quite a nice one and a funny one too.Clearly,humour back then was pretty sharp and witty,as compared to the usual slap-stick one encounters these days.And you really had to be attentive to be able to grasp and consequently laugh at the jokes and comments.Good movie.Shattered the inhibitions I had about old movies.
Din't have much of a clue in my first Art History class.No fucking background whatsoever in art.Have to do a lot of reading before next week's classes.However at one of my Art History Tutorial classes,we had a discussion on whether Marcel Duchamp's "Fountain"(1917) was really a work of art.You can take a look at the pic here www.beatmuseum.org/duchamp/fountain.html
What amazed me was that lots of people seemed to think that art only means what you can create by painting,drawing,photography,etc.Something original made out of your own hands.
I disagree.What I think is that it takes real fucking brains to come up with an idea to transform a simple everyday object into something entirely different.In this case a pee-station into a fountain.Brilliant!Its not the physical labour that counts.Its the idea.And who thought about it first.So FUCK YOU Anu Malik!
What I thought,and later the the T.A. stated,was that Duchamp was actually deliberately attacking the so called self-proclaimed egalitarian art society who tried to define art.His work made me think and ask myself a question.Its not important how or by what standards we define art.Its the question of why we need to define it in the first place?
Anyways very funny thing happened at one of my Film Studies lectures.I fucking fell asleep man.For 1-2 minutes I was gone.And right under the prof's nose in the front row.I'd had a hotdog for lunch,which turned out to be quite heavy and 2 hours later I was dozing off while the prof was showing us clips in a darkened room.But anyways I regained control later and got through the lecture without the prof noticing,thankfully.
Met this Indian guy on the bus back home one day.Turned out to be pretty friendly.Then went with him on last Thursday to sign up at the various clubs at University.What really shocked and ashamed me was that there was no Indian Association there.But you could find almost every other Asian country there.So we finally signed up with the South Asian Alliance which is basically the sub-continent in all its glory.Yay.Whatever.Fucking lazy worthless Indians.Can't even run a Club.
Nothing else worth mentioning happened in these 2 weeks,except that I spent 1 hour last to last friday walking around campus in bloody cold rain searching for a DVD of "Trouble In Paradise" coz our Prof had told us to have a few more looks at it.Oh by the way I got 2 out of 5 in my first surprise quiz!Really unfair to take quizzes in just the second week!
And best of all,I spent 3 hours on my first day at college listening to Megadeth and reading "The Rule Of Four" in the middle of a bustling University meeting hall.
Hope you enjoyed reading about my despair and agony.

Fucking Sadists!

!!!Disclaimer/Warning!!!

To be frank I'll write about any damn thing I want.But if any of my postings seem dumb or even offensive to anyone in anyway(I doubt they will ever be offensive apart from random use of profanities),I suggest you get your ass offa my space,coz if you din't notice already,you're in my space.So kindly step off.Because you're not welcome,if you don't welcome.

Notice:

This is a Disclaimer about the offensive content.
This is a Warning about the dumb content.

Thank You

Passive....

Dead as dead can be, my doctor tells me
But I just can’t believe him, ever the optimistic one
I’m sure of your ability to become my perfect enemy

Wake up and face me, don’t play dead 'cause maybe
Someday I will walk away and say, You disappoint me,
Maybe you’re better off this way....

Leaning over you here, cold and catatonic
I catch a brief reflection,of what you could and might have been
It's your right and your ability
To become… my perfect enemy…

Wake up and face me, don’t play dead 'cause maybe
Someday I’ll walk away and say, You disappoint me,
Maybe you’re better off this way....

Maybe you’re better off this way
Maybe you’re better off this way
Maybe you’re better off this way
You’re better of this… you’re better off this…
Maybe you’re better off!

Wake up and face me, don’t play dead, 'cause maybe
Someday I’ll walk away and say, You fucking disappoint me!
Maybe you’re better off this way....

Go ahead and play dead
I know that you can hear this
Go ahead and play dead
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
You fucking disappoint me!

Passive agressive bullshit....


-Passive

(A PERFECT CIRCLE)


"Wicked" Lyrics....literally.

No Subject!

I'll take a moment to welcome myself to the world of blogging.....Welcome.
Hopefully my posts,most of which might be random and erratic,will provide the kind of kix which some people are looking for - Brain Stew,as "Greenday" might put it.
And provide the kind of shit that other people are looking for to label as,well,Shit.

13thpsycho